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3:36 AM O.

DON’T BE A MARTINEZ

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Emblazoned over the fucking mausoleum.
“What drove the kid?”
“A fear of his ancestors.”

So I ran. I ran away from everything that made my blood.
I abandoned Christ, and found plenty of reason for it.
When Father looked me in the eye on a Sunday morning
and told me man would be arrogant
“Man is a fool
to think he can reach the stars
in God’s domain.”

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When I was a kid
I wanted to be a scientist.
For sure a meteorologist, because I was terrified of tornadoes.

When I was a kid and they asked me in sunday school what I wanted to be, I always went straight to Scientist. I never knew what kind, but that was it. The closest approximation of a life as adult as I could imagine.

I’m pretty sure the church beat that out of my head.

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I find my god in art.
The Rothko piece should have made that clear enough.
I don’t believe in your Christ, or Messiah;
It’s nothing personal.

I don’t believe in him,
because then I would have to say I don’t believe in the Prophet either.

Moses. Buddha.
All of them.

a million mingling inks
or something like that.

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I find my god in art.
This past weekend me and she went down to the contemporary
to make a promise before god.

We made separate promises.

This girl walked me down to the picnic table of an altar
and we spoke to god a little bit
side by side each other.

I find my god in art but that’s the thing innit?
Ain’t that the great grand fear?

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pheeew-
I had a really bad trip when I went to memphis.
got all scrambly in the head On the Road to Memphis.

Had a friend,
this is true,
had a friend who absorbed so much THC in one sitting that he saw the black demon spirit come to him, as in a waking dream, over the backyard fence;
saw this black void of a figure come slowly out from the sun to him,
eclipsing,

Saw this hideous terrifying spirit satan
and cowered to his feet, shouting back:
“The Christ O My Lord;
Please Sweet Beautiful Jesus,
Jesus Christ My Savior,
In Your Name,
PROTECT ME.”

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and -poof.
the spirit was gone,
so goes his story.

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Yeah, I scrambled my brains up a bit like that.
& I can tell you a lot more about him too.

but for now I’ll sleep.

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