She’s gone to sleep, I think. But if I’m typing in the forest, does anybody hear me?
Do you know what my shadow was?
I wish I could do it justice. I wish I could write it as fearful as I felt it.
On the way to memphis, under the same influences; driving 9 hours into the dead of night, with a 70mg load of thc slowly streaming to your belly; now here watching her sleep in the same state of mind.
What was my shadow?
It was ignorance.
But what of it?
What a useless word.
It was ignorance under a thousand other names.
It was the jaws of ignorance, cartoony like in their sheer viciousness, black and white sharp acute angles strewn into each other;
The jaws of life, the literal Jaws of Death.
It was ignorance, Satan by another name,
Chaos by another.
It was the combined fears of all my ancestral generations.
It was moses talking to the burning bush
about how Adam’s wife cheated on him.
It was patriarch’s bitching;
It was the unspeakable formless void of thought;
it was pure Chaos.
It was endless waves of signifieds
held back by a single signifier.
It was Trump.
What did I see on the Memphis?
A shard from the death of us all.